Africa Safari 2013 : Final Briefing


The following is a Guide for those new to travelling on the African Continent.  Each member shall have this document copied onto Vellum, the better to withstand the ravages of heat and insect attack which affects normal paper in Tropical Climes.

Known as The Dark Continent for many centuries, travellers should be prepared and have with them the best and latest of equipment, maps and navigational aids. 

*          We recommend that each person should equip themselves with a 'Sonic Screwdriver' obtained from any registered Tardis Supplier.

*          The route has been planned using Ptolemy's Geography' in the original   Greek and supplemented with Henrieques Martellus's world map and GerardMercator’s double cordiform world map of 1531.  Reference has been made both to Halford Mackinders work in 1899, Colonel Sir Thomas Holdrich's map     of Imperial Africa (1901) and to maintain an eglatarian balance, also Aro Petor's Gall Orthographic Projection of 1973.[1]

*          In the unlikely event of losing one's spoor and night falling, navigation by stars   is required.  Copies of 'Star Maps for Beginners' by I.M. Levitt and R. L. Mashod and the Phillips Star Chart are easily obtainable from your local Astronomy outlet.

*          The weather should be stable at this period, but please ensure you bring your   own Bone and Pebble collection for predictive forecasting.

*          As preparation for the experiences of African canoeing and riverside camping,   it is strongly suggested that Team Members read Christina Dodwell's The    Explorers' Handbook which recounts 'Tested Exits from Tight Corners'. [2]

*          PLEASE NOTE that Paul Theroux's Dark Star Safari is NOT recommended  reading for this trip.

*          Central to each evening's Briefing will be 'A Keeper of Words' and Tarot Cards   to facilitate an unlocking of the archetypes within Arthurian Legend and tapping into new doorways of psychic power and visionary interpretation. Preparation before leaving is essential using 'Legend : ‘The Arthurian Tarot' byAnna-Marie Ferguson. [3]

*          All Team members and Trainee Wizards must bring their own Wand,  obtainable from 'Alivans-Makers of fine hand-crafted Magic Wands'. 

*          Any member intending to bring their own Owl should note that the 'Hedwig          Site Coordinate' package is available from all good High Street Magic Shops.  Owls should be programmed to arrive at all camps in an orderly manner. 

*          Permission for Owl use has been agreed with most campsites, but this is   conditional on following local rules and regulations. Fruit Bats are under no  circumstances to be caught and eaten.

*          Evening practice for the Quiddich Grand African Cup Final will be held at 17.00. All members should bring their own Broomstick and note that Standard  Broomstick Travel and Transportation Documentation is obtainable from the      Ministry of Magic Department 11z

*          Copies of Hermione Grainger's 'Standard Book of Spells' will be carried at all times to supplement First Aid (see below).  The Hippodivertimentus Spell should be learnt by all Team Members.

*          A copy of 'First Aid to the Injured', the authorised text book of the Grand Priory in the British Realm of the Venerable Order of the Hospital of St John of Jerusalem (39th edition 1940, price 1/6 net) shall be studied in advance by allTravellers.

*          All Travellers should familiarise themselves with essential camping lore, as set            out in The Boys Edition of 'Scouting for Boys' by Lord Baden-Powell of Gilwell (1940 edition, price 1/- net).  Attention is drawn to 'Patriotism', 'How to fly the British Flag' and 'Microbes, how to Fight them' (pp162, 'Prevention of   Disease').

*          A Volunteer will be called upon to carry out the Daily Microbiological Tests on Elephant Poo as part of the 'Institute of Funny Things to do on Holidays’,  Summer Programme. 

*          Evenings will conclude with a Camp Fire Yarn and Sing Song.  Travellers shall come prepared with either the 'Scouting Song Book' or the 'YHA Songbook', it is not advised to bring your copy of the CND Songbook, as Custom Officials  may confiscate as seditious material.

*          Some Camp Sites may have dry water holes and each traveller shall bring  their own set of divining rods in order to lure thirsty elephants and other  African animals to camp.

*          Dress Codes must conform to Local Expectations. For further reading see          'With My Wife Across Africa by Canoe and Caravan' by Colonel J C B Statton CMG,CBE,FRGS. (Second edition, 1926, published by  Simpkin, Marshall,Hamilton,Kent & Co.); and ‘’Trekking the Great Thirst- Travel            and Sport in the Kalahari Desert’’, by Arnold W Hodson FRGS ( Published 1912 by T Fisher Unwin) 

*          The Wine Waiter of the Day will serve cocktails prompt at 6pm, selecting from    'The Gentleman's Companion - An exotic Drinking Book' by Charles H Baker Jnr 1946. ( Published by Crown Publishers, New York, MCMXLVI)

            Reference should also be made to Mr Baker in the event of the following :

            *          'To allay a mild, and even a severe Syncope, sometimes called Fainting from Potation’

            *          'To alleviate apparent Death from Toxic Poisonings, and especially                            should, in any Happenstance, the Quality of the Liquor be Suspect'.

            *          'To Salvage a Guest from the Effects of Hanging by Rope, not the                         Morning After

*          Other Disorders and Mal de Tete may be treated with 'The Bengal Hot Drops'     or Raffles Quiet Relief' especially in the event of amoebic alimentary  disorders. 

*          To find the South Pole, hold a piece of wood 14.5 inches by 1 inch at a     distance of 24 inches from one eye, closing the other.  Adjust one edge on the      axis of the Southern Cross and the other on the brighter of the two stars   forming the cross-piece.  The Pole  lies just beyond the right hand end of the          wood.

Dear Fellow Travellers

We look forward to our coming adventure and leave you with the words of Colonel Statham as he travelled with his Wife across the same Africa we shall traverse.

In the early 1900s he had a 'caravann' of 25 and 18 loads of personal baggage.  It included a 10 foot by 8 foot tent weighing 55lbs, 10 provision boxes of venesta wood, each to hold supplies for a fortnight for two people.  The 100 tins of Portuguese sardines were an indispensible 'must have'.

Our experiences will be different from his but we will share his opening words.  

'Before nightfall had come a splendid desert sunset; the giant kaleidoscope of reds, yellows and purples blazed for an hour in the blue and green evening skies before it ended; then came darkness and its myriad stars.  I almost forgot my fear of the lions in watching constellation after familiar constellation, and over all that arc of whiring worlds, the Milky Way."

Safe travels to our journeys beginning.

Eric and Lindsay


[1] A History of the World in Twelve Maps.  Jerry Brotton Allan Lane Penquin Books 2012. ISBN978-1-846-14099-0
[2] The Illustrated Virago Book of Women Travellers (1994) edited by Mary Morris 9 781844 084418
[3] ISBN 1-56718-263-4

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